**Inmate Taken into Custody Following Orleans Justice Center Escape: A Comedy of Errors**
In a plot twist that could only be scripted by a team of caffeinated monkeys, an inmate at the Orleans Justice Center managed to escape, only to be recaptured shortly after—proving once again that crime doesn’t pay, but it does provide some excellent material for a sitcom.
The escapee, identified as “Slick” McGee, reportedly made his daring getaway by using a spoon to dig a tunnel that led directly to the center’s cafeteria. “I thought I was going to find freedom, but all I found was a plate of lukewarm meatloaf,” McGee lamented in an exclusive interview with our undercover reporter, who was disguised as a janitor. “I should’ve known better than to trust a spoon. I mean, it’s not like I was digging for gold!”
Authorities were alerted to McGee’s absence when he failed to return from his “lunch break.” Sheriff Bob “The Bouncer” Thompson stated, “We were all set for a nice, quiet Tuesday when we realized one of our inmates was missing. I mean, who escapes during meatloaf day? That’s just bad planning!”
After a frantic search involving a dozen officers, two bloodhounds, and a confused local cat named Mr. Whiskers, McGee was found hiding in a nearby tree, attempting to blend in with the foliage. “I thought I could become one with nature,” he explained, “but I forgot I’m allergic to pollen. It was a real ‘leaf’ of absence!”
In a twist of fate, McGee was returned to his cell, where he was greeted with a round of applause from his fellow inmates. “We were all rooting for him,” said inmate “Tiny” Tim, who stands at a towering 5’2”. “But we knew he’d be back. I mean, who else would we get to entertain us with his terrible magic tricks?”
As for McGee, he’s now planning his next escape—this time with a fork. “I hear they’re much better for digging,” he said with a wink. “And if all else fails, I’ll just ask for a side of mashed potatoes. Those things are practically a weapon!”
Stay tuned for updates on this developing story, and remember: if you’re going to escape, make sure it’s not during meatloaf day!
