**Colorado Couple Convicted for Cross Burning to Manipulate Sympathy for Black Candidate: A New Low in Political Shenanigans**
In a plot twist that could only be scripted by a particularly deranged screenwriter, a Colorado couple has been convicted for burning a cross in their front yard—allegedly to drum up sympathy for a local Black candidate. Yes, you read that right. Apparently, the couple thought that the best way to support their friend, candidate Jamal “The Real Deal” Johnson, was to channel their inner Ku Klux Klan member.
“I thought it was a great way to get people talking,” said the husband, who identified himself only as “Bubba McRacistface.” “I mean, who doesn’t love a good ol’ fashioned cross burning? It’s like a barbecue, but with more hate and fewer hot dogs!”
The couple’s plan backfired spectacularly when local authorities caught wind of their “sympathy stunt.” “We were just trying to help!” insisted the wife, who goes by the name of “Betty Lou Who.” “I mean, have you seen Jamal’s campaign ads? They’re about as exciting as watching paint dry. We thought a little fire would spice things up!”
Jamal Johnson, however, was less than thrilled. “I appreciate the enthusiasm, but maybe next time they could just bake cookies or something,” he said, shaking his head. “I mean, who knew that trying to help could land you in jail? I guess I’ll have to add ‘don’t burn crosses’ to my campaign platform.”
As the couple awaits sentencing, they’ve reportedly started a new business: “Bubba & Betty’s Sympathy Stunts.” Their first offering? A “Burning Love” package that includes a flaming heart-shaped cross and a complimentary apology letter. Because nothing says “I’m sorry” like a charred piece of wood.
In the end, this bizarre tale serves as a reminder that when it comes to political campaigns, some people will go to any lengths—even lengths that involve fire and a complete lack of common sense. So, if you’re ever in Colorado and see a cross burning in someone’s yard, just remember: it might not be what you think. It could just be Bubba and Betty trying to get their 15 minutes of fame.
