**OceanGate CEO’s Wife Responds to Sounds Believed to Be Titan Sub Implosion: “I Thought It Was Just My Husband’s Snoring!”**
In a shocking turn of events, the wife of OceanGate CEO Stockton Rush, who is currently navigating the murky waters of public relations, has responded to the recent sounds believed to be the implosion of the Titan submersible. In a press conference held in her living room, she declared, “Honestly, I thought it was just my husband’s snoring! I mean, have you heard that man after a long day at the office? It’s like a whale mating call mixed with a malfunctioning blender!”
As the world holds its breath, waiting for news on the Titan, Mrs. Rush has taken to social media to share her thoughts. “I was just about to post a TikTok of my cat, Mr. Whiskers, when I heard those noises. I thought it was just the neighbors arguing over who left the gate open!” she quipped, while Mr. Whiskers, oblivious to the chaos, lounged on a pile of OceanGate brochures.
In a bizarre twist, she also revealed that she had been planning a surprise underwater anniversary trip for Stockton. “I thought it would be romantic! Little did I know he’d be the one taking a dive—literally!” she exclaimed, rolling her eyes.
Meanwhile, experts are weighing in on the situation. Dr. Bob Blubbers, a marine biologist and part-time stand-up comedian, stated, “If it was an implosion, it’s a shame. I was really hoping they’d find Atlantis down there. I mean, who wouldn’t want to vacation with mermaids?”
As the search continues, Mrs. Rush remains optimistic. “If they can find the Titanic, they can find my husband! I just hope he’s not trying to build a new sub out of soda cans and duct tape down there!”
In the end, one thing is clear: whether it’s a submersible or a snoring spouse, the depths of the ocean—and marriage—can be full of surprises.
