**Arson Suspect at Pennsylvania Governor’s Residence Requests Delay in Upcoming Court Hearing: “I’m Just Too Busy!”**
In a shocking turn of events that has left the state of Pennsylvania both amused and bewildered, an arson suspect has requested a delay in his upcoming court hearing, citing an overwhelming schedule of “very important” activities. The suspect, identified as local resident and self-proclaimed “fire enthusiast” Billy Blaze, claims he simply cannot make it to court because he has “a hot date with destiny” — and a few marshmallows.
“I mean, who can blame a guy for wanting to roast some s’mores?” Blaze said in a statement that left legal experts scratching their heads. “I just need a little more time to prepare my defense, which, by the way, is totally fireproof. Get it? Fireproof?”
Blaze was arrested after allegedly setting fire to the Pennsylvania Governor’s residence while attempting to “improve” the state’s heating system. “I thought it was a DIY project gone wrong,” he explained. “I was just trying to help! The Governor’s mansion could use a little more warmth, don’t you think?”
When asked about the delay request, Judge Judy Justice, who is not actually a judge but a local bingo hall champion, said, “I’ve seen some wild excuses in my day, but this one takes the cake — and then sets it on fire!”
Blaze’s attorney, a man who goes by the name of “Slick Rick,” added, “Billy is a misunderstood artist. He was just trying to express himself through the medium of flames. Plus, he’s got a really busy schedule of binge-watching ‘Survivor’ and practicing his fire dance routine.”
As the court date approaches, the state is left wondering if Blaze will ever show up or if he’ll be too busy perfecting his “flame-throwing” skills. In the meantime, the Governor’s residence has been outfitted with a new sprinkler system, just in case Blaze decides to drop by for a surprise visit.
Stay tuned for updates on this fiery saga, and remember: if you’re going to set something ablaze, make sure it’s not your court date!
