**JBS Urges Shareholders to Support US Stock Listing Despite Opposition: “We’re Just Trying to Beef Up Our Portfolio!”**
In a bold move that has left shareholders scratching their heads and cows rolling their eyes, JBS, the Brazilian meat giant, is urging its investors to support a US stock listing. This comes despite a chorus of opposition that sounds like a herd of disgruntled cattle. “We’re just trying to beef up our portfolio!” exclaimed JBS CEO Gilberto “The Grill Master” Tomazoni, while flipping a burger on a conference call. “What’s the worst that could happen? We might just become the next big thing since sliced bread—or at least sliced brisket!”
The company’s proposal has been met with skepticism from shareholders who are concerned about the potential for a “meat market crash.” “I’m not sure I want my investments to be as volatile as a cow on a trampoline,” said long-time investor and part-time vegan, Linda “Lettuce” Greenfield. “I mean, I love a good steak, but I don’t want my portfolio to be served medium-rare!”
In a surprising twist, JBS has enlisted the help of celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay, who reportedly said, “If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen! But seriously, I’m just here for the free steak.” Meanwhile, a group of shareholders has formed a protest group called “Meatless in America,” which is ironically led by a man named Chuck Roast.
As the debate rages on, JBS remains optimistic. “We’re confident that our shareholders will see the value in this move,” Tomazoni added, while trying to convince a cow to invest in stocks. “After all, who wouldn’t want to own a piece of the American dream—especially if it’s served with a side of fries?”
So, will JBS’s stock listing be a sizzling success or a recipe for disaster? Only time will tell, but one thing’s for sure: the shareholders are in for a wild ride—just like a cow on a rollercoaster!
