**New Research Suggests Cold Sores Could Contribute to Alzheimer’s Development: Experts Recommend Avoiding Kissing Grandma**
In a groundbreaking study that has left scientists scratching their heads and grandmothers everywhere feeling a little less loved, researchers have discovered a potential link between cold sores and the development of Alzheimer’s disease. Yes, you read that right—those pesky little blisters that pop up at the most inconvenient times might be more than just a reason to avoid social gatherings; they could be a gateway to forgetting where you left your keys… or your sanity.
Dr. Ima Quack, lead researcher at the Institute of Unlikely Discoveries, stated, “We’ve always known that cold sores are annoying, but we never thought they could be the reason you forget your own birthday. I mean, who needs cake when you can have a lifelong battle with herpes simplex virus?”
The study, which involved a sample size of one very confused cat named Mr. Whiskers, found that individuals with a history of cold sores were more likely to misplace their glasses, forget their grandchildren’s names, and even confuse their favorite TV shows. “One minute you’re watching ‘Friends,’ and the next, you’re convinced you’re in an episode of ‘The Twilight Zone,’” said Dr. Quack.
In response to the findings, the Alzheimer’s Association has issued a new public service announcement: “If you have a cold sore, please refrain from kissing your grandmother. It’s for her own good.” Meanwhile, Grandma Betty, who has been known to give out unsolicited kisses like they’re candy, was quoted saying, “I’ll take my chances! I’d rather forget my bingo nights than stop smooching my grandkids!”
As the world grapples with this shocking revelation, experts are urging everyone to stock up on lip balm and avoid any romantic encounters until further notice. After all, who needs love when you can have a lifetime supply of cold sore cream?
