**Hatchet Man: Boston Road Rage Incident Takes a Sharp Turn**
In a shocking twist that could only happen in the wild world of Boston, a man has been charged after a video surfaced showing him wielding a hatchet during a road rage incident. Witnesses report that the altercation began when the suspect, identified as “Chad ‘The Lumberjack’ McGraw,” became enraged after another driver, “Karen ‘The Minivan Queen’ Thompson,” dared to cut him off while merging into the left lane.
“I thought I was watching a scene from a low-budget horror movie,” said local bystander, Tim “I’m Just Here for the Free Wi-Fi” Johnson. “One minute, it’s just a regular traffic jam, and the next, it’s like ‘Hatchet: The Musical.’ I half-expected them to break into song about their feelings!”
According to police reports, McGraw allegedly shouted, “You’ll regret this, Karen! I’m not just a lumberjack; I’m a lumberjack with a hatchet!” before dramatically brandishing his weapon. Witnesses claim that Thompson responded with a classic “I’m calling my husband!” which, in Boston, is the equivalent of summoning the Avengers.
“I just wanted to get to Dunkin’ before they ran out of pumpkin spice,” Thompson lamented. “Now I’m stuck in a hatchet drama. What’s next? A chainsaw duel over a parking spot?”
As the dust settles on this bizarre incident, local authorities are urging drivers to keep their hatchets at home and to remember that road rage is best expressed through passive-aggressive honking and the occasional middle finger.
In a final twist, McGraw has reportedly started a GoFundMe to finance his new career as a “road rage influencer,” promising to teach others how to express their anger with “style and flair.” Because if there’s one thing we need more of in this world, it’s hatchet-wielding influencers.
