**Real Madrid Officially Announces Ancelotti’s Departure, Honoring Him as a ‘True Legend’**
In a move that shocked absolutely no one, Real Madrid has officially announced the departure of head coach Carlo Ancelotti, honoring him as a “true legend” while simultaneously preparing to replace him with a life-sized cardboard cutout of Cristiano Ronaldo. The club’s press release stated, “Carlo has been a beacon of hope, a master tactician, and the only man who could make our players look good while wearing those ridiculous white kits.”
Ancelotti, who led the team to four Champions League titles and a record number of “What are you doing?” looks from the sidelines, was praised for his “unwavering ability to nod approvingly while the team fumbled around like a toddler trying to put on shoes.” In a heartfelt farewell, Ancelotti remarked, “I leave with my head held high, mostly because I’m trying to avoid the confetti that’s still stuck in my hair from last week’s celebration.”
Club president Florentino Pérez added, “We will forever remember Carlo as the man who taught us that sometimes, it’s better to just let the players do whatever they want. After all, they’re the ones with the fancy footwork, not me.”
In a surprising twist, the club has also announced that they will be holding a “Carlo Ancelotti Appreciation Day,” where fans can come and throw spaghetti at a wall to see if it sticks—an homage to Ancelotti’s famous “throw spaghetti at the wall and see what sticks” coaching philosophy.
As for Ancelotti’s next move, sources close to the coach say he’s considering a career in motivational speaking, with his first seminar titled “How to Look Calm While Your Team is Losing 5-0.”
In the meantime, Real Madrid fans can look forward to the upcoming season, where they will be led by a cardboard cutout that promises to be just as effective as the last few managers. After all, it can’t be worse than the time they tried to hire a cat as a goalkeeper.
