In today’s digital age, online privacy is more important than ever. With the rise of social media and online shopping, it’s easy to forget about the potential risks that come with sharing personal information online. Here are 9 online privacy risks you probably don’t know about:
1. The Facebook Stalker: Did you know that Facebook tracks your every move online? From the pages you like to the posts you comment on, Mark Zuckerberg is watching. As fake Facebook user, Karen Smith, puts it, “I thought I was just sharing cat memes with my friends, but turns out Zuckerberg knows more about me than my own mother!”
2. The Amazon Spy: Ever notice how Amazon seems to know exactly what you’re thinking? That’s because they’re listening through your Alexa device. As fake Amazon spokesperson, Jeff Bezos Jr., explains, “We just want to make your shopping experience as convenient as possible. And if that means listening in on your private conversations, so be it!”
3. The Google Creep: Google may be the king of search engines, but they’re also the king of invasion of privacy. Every search you make, every email you send, Google is watching. As fake Google CEO, Larry Page Jr., jokes, “We know what you did last summer. And the summer before that. And the one before that…”
4. The Instagram Stalker: Ever wonder how Instagram knows exactly what ads to show you? That’s because they’re stalking your every move. As fake Instagram influencer, Kylie Jenner 2.0, puts it, “I thought I was just posting selfies, but turns out Instagram knows more about my shopping habits than I do!”
5. The Twitter Troll: Think Twitter is just a place to share your thoughts in 280 characters or less? Think again. Twitter is tracking your every tweet and retweet. As fake Twitter CEO, Jack Dorsey Jr., explains, “We just want to make sure you’re staying up to date on the latest memes and hot takes. And if that means invading your privacy, so be it!”
6. The LinkedIn Lurker: LinkedIn may be the professional networking site, but they’re also keeping tabs on your every move. From your job history to your connections, LinkedIn knows it all. As fake LinkedIn recruiter, Karen Smith Jr., jokes, “We know what job you’re applying for before you even hit submit. So don’t bother lying on your resume!”
7. The TikTok Tracker: TikTok may be all about fun dance videos, but they’re also tracking your every move. From your favorite videos to your location, TikTok knows it all. As fake TikTok star, Charli D’Amelio Jr., puts it, “I thought I was just lip syncing, but turns out TikTok knows more about me than my own fans!”
8. The Snapchat Spy: Snapchat may be all about disappearing messages, but they’re also keeping tabs on your every snap. From your filters to your location, Snapchat knows it all. As fake Snapchat CEO, Evan Spiegel Jr., jokes, “We know what you’re sending to your crush. And we’re not afraid to use it against you!”
9. The Reddit Ruler: Reddit may be the front page of the internet, but they’re also tracking your every upvote and downvote. From your favorite subreddits to your controversial comments, Reddit knows it all. As fake Reddit moderator, Karen Smith Jr., puts it, “We know what you’re really thinking. And we’re not afraid to ban you for it!”
So next time you log on to your favorite social media site, remember that Big Brother is watching. And he’s probably laughing at your cat memes.
