**30-Year Mortgage Rates Climb to 6.89%, Hitting Highest Point Since February: Homebuyers Now Accepting Offers from Their Parents**
In a shocking turn of events that has left homebuyers gasping for air (and possibly a second job), 30-year mortgage rates have soared to a staggering 6.89%, the highest point since February. Experts say this spike is due to a combination of inflation, the economy, and the fact that someone accidentally spilled coffee on the interest rate calculator.
Local homebuyer and part-time magician, Dave “The Disappearing Down Payment” Johnson, expressed his dismay: “I thought I was just going to wave my wand and poof! Instant equity! But now I’m considering moving back in with my parents. They have a lovely basement, and I hear the Wi-Fi is fantastic.”
In a desperate attempt to cope with the rising rates, many prospective buyers are now resorting to unconventional methods. “I’ve started offering my parents a monthly rent of $500 for my old bedroom,” said 28-year-old Sarah “I’ll Never Afford a House” Thompson. “They’re considering it, but only if I promise to do my own laundry.”
Meanwhile, financial guru and self-proclaimed “Mortgage Whisperer,” Larry “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter” Smith, weighed in on the situation. “At this rate, the only way to afford a home is to marry into a family with a solid 401(k). Or, you know, just start a GoFundMe for your down payment. I hear those are all the rage.”
As the housing market continues to spiral into the stratosphere, experts predict that the next trend will be “house-sharing” with your childhood stuffed animals. “They’ve been with you through thick and thin,” said plushie enthusiast and real estate analyst, Teddy “Cuddles” McFluff. “And they don’t charge interest!”
So, as we brace ourselves for the impending mortgage apocalypse, remember: if you can’t afford a house, at least you can afford a good laugh. And if all else fails, there’s always the option of living in a van down by the river—just make sure it’s a nice river with good property values!
