In a shocking turn of events, three more victims have been identified in the recent West Virginia flash flooding. The devastation caused by the floods has left many in mourning, but leave it to our team at The Satirical Times to find the humor in even the most tragic of situations.
One of the victims, Joe Schmo, was found clinging to a tree branch in the middle of a flooded street. When asked how he managed to survive, Schmo replied, “I just held on for dear life and prayed to the weather gods for mercy. Turns out they were too busy causing chaos to hear my pleas.”
Another victim, Jane Doe, was rescued from the roof of her car after it was swept away by the raging floodwaters. Doe was quoted as saying, “I never thought I would have to swim for my life in the middle of West Virginia, but hey, at least I got a free car wash out of it.”
And last but not least, John Smith was found floating down the river on an inflatable mattress, sipping on a margarita. When questioned about his questionable choice of beverage during a crisis, Smith simply shrugged and said, “When life gives you lemons, make margaritas and float away on a mattress. That’s what I always say.”
While the situation in West Virginia is no laughing matter, we at The Satirical Times believe that a little humor can go a long way in helping us cope with the absurdity of life. Our thoughts are with the victims and their families during this difficult time, but hey, at least we can all agree that Joe Schmo, Jane Doe, and John Smith have some pretty epic stories to tell at the next family gathering.
